Things I MUST remember as a
dog.....( and mine always remember...Ha HA)
1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
2. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
3. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa or under
4. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
5. I will not eat the cats' food, before they eat it or after they throw
6. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet
in the house when I am about to get sick.
7. I will not throw up in the car.
8. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. just because I
like the way they smell.
9. "Kitty box crunchies," although they are tasty, are not
10. I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit them
in the backyard after processing.
11. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
12. I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
13. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am
14. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down
when it's raining outside.
15. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on
16. I will not steal my mom's underwear and dance all over the backyard
17. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & dad's laps.
18. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
19. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for mom's
driver's license and car registration.
20. I will not play tug-of-war with dad's underwear when he's on the
21. I will not eat mint flavored dental floss out of the bathroom
garbage and therefore avoid having a string hanging out of my butt.
22. I will not use "roll around in the dirt" as an option
after just getting a bath.
23. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of
24. I will not let out gas in my owners face while sleeping on the
next to their head.
25. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the
26. The toilet bowl is not a never-ending water supply and just because
the water is blue, it doesn't mean it is cleaner.
27. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch
when company is over.
28. Suddenly turning around and smelling my butt can quickly clear a
29. The cat is not a squeaky toy so when I play with him and he makes
that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
Back to List